Locked up in My room
I’m inside my room
Locked up
The lights are switched off.
Fan is on
Windows partially open.
Darkness everywhere
I’m trapped in between the four walls.
I’m alone but there is a mind
There is a heart
There is a soul
And a million thoughts
And a billion emotions
And a trillion feelings
With a past that is pulling me back
A dark future pushing me forward
And unknown fear holding me
There is something
But nothing
It’s very light
But heavy
It’s invisible
But can be felt
But where it is
In my mind
Inside me
Its burning
It’s moving
Its flowing
I’m helpless
I’m hopeless
I surrender
I want to cry but tears won’t come
I want to smile but lips don’t allow
I want to be happy but heart does the opposite.
I have to wrestle
I have to battle
I have to counter this
But how can I
Unknown fear it is
Invisible pain it is
Somewhere hidden it is
It never comes out.
It makes me sad
It makes me guilty
It makes me suffer
It want me to stay inside
And when I go out
In a crowded place
I feel alone
And when I’m alone
I want to run
Run and escape and disappear