Locked up in My room

Photo by Tammy Gann on Unsplash

I’m inside my room

Locked up

The lights are switched off.

Fan is on

Windows partially open.

Darkness everywhere

I’m trapped in between the four walls.

I’m alone but there is a mind

There is a heart

There is a soul

And a million thoughts

And a billion emotions

And a trillion feelings

With a past that is pulling me back

A dark future pushing me forward

And unknown fear holding me

There is something

But nothing

It’s very light

But heavy

It’s invisible

But can be felt

But where it is

In my mind

Inside me

Its burning

It’s moving

Its flowing

I’m helpless

I’m hopeless

I surrender

I want to cry but tears won’t come

I want to smile but lips don’t allow

I want to be happy but heart does the opposite.

I have to wrestle

I have to battle

I have to counter this

But how can I

Unknown fear it is

Invisible pain it is

Somewhere hidden it is

It never comes out.

It makes me sad

It makes me guilty

It makes me suffer

It want me to stay inside

And when I go out

In a crowded place

I feel alone

And when I’m alone

I want to run

Run and escape and disappear